In the Small Things...

Today as I admired the intricate beauty of a flower, all sunshiny purple with a splash of yellow in its heart, I wondered how people could see such a friendly, detailed little flower and not know that God is good. How can we hear the gurgle of a child’s laughter, see the sky aflame with the sun’s rays, the stars and moon shining faithfully every night, feel the breeze of the salty ocean air and not know that God is good and He loves us more than our hearts could ever fathom? I was walking home when I saw the flower in the above photograph and I felt God say that He made that flower especially for my enjoyment, that He delights in giving me good gifts. The Star Breather loves a little person like me that much. If we truly look all around us, we will see His goodness in the small things, as well as in the big things. There is so much in life that we take for granted- the smell of fresh rain, a friend’s warm hug, a field of wildflowers- and we miss His thoughtful, loving ways of showing us that He cares. I know there is so much pain and sadness and worry in this world and so often I get so swept away by all the bad that I forget to stop and look at the good, to truly appreciate life and the beauty that lies all around me. And I know, in my heart of hearts, that God is good.

Constant Love

I run, I hide, I fight, I cower

Yet You remain the same.

Here again, on my face,

Old resurfacing, history repeating.

Shame and guilt again choke me,

Yet You have not changed.

I change, I grow, I slide, I duck

I fall and hit the bottom again

But You are relentless, endless

In Your pursuit of my wayward heart.

Fear and self-hate again blind me

Yet You give sight to the unseeing.

I flee, I rage, I sin, I stumble

Like a child learning to walk,

Yet You pick me up again.

You never stop loving me,

Whom others may shun and reject.

Still You delight in me

And call me Your own.

Now, a change, a chance, a choice

To trust You and not me

To let go of that which hinders

And believe Your constant love.

Now, it is time. To cross over

To the other side where

Trust and perfect love

Will carry me.

Finding Satisfaction

Sometimes life is akin to an unending battle, where we run and fight, work and strive, knock and search, cry and push, to get what we want but to no avail. The battle remains un-won, the door stays unopened. When I look around me, I see people searching for something, whether they know it or not. There is a brokenness and emptiness inside them that they try to fill with a meaninglessness that drains them further. Lost and confused, they grope in the dark deluded into believing they can see. We live in a broken world marked by discontent. We all want something more, thinking that if we obtain that one thing, we will be happy and life will make sense. We overlook the little blessings that pepper our everyday lives, those ordinary miracles that are all pointing to the one thing we really need. Perhaps for some that One thing is glaringly obvious but for others they are blinded to what their hungry hearts need most: God. Whether our wandering, discontented, prideful hearts always admit to it or not, the truth is that God is the only one who can fully satisfy us, who can heal our brokenness and full our emptiness in a way that nothing else can. Yet why, even those of us who know Him intimately and know the truth, do we run after meaninglessness and things that will never satisfy us? Why are we so quick to build up idols when we know they will topple and bring us on our faces yet again? Why do we not see God’s goodness and perfection? I think the main problem is pride and ingratitude. We think we know best and we doubt God’s goodness, that He can and does give us good things. We forget that God has already given us the best gift: Himself. If we truly surrender ourselves to Him, we will see that we do not need anything but Him. Perhaps when we learn to be content in God, we shall see all those little blessings that He bestows upon us despite our sinfulness, our wandering and faithlessness. And we shall discover something beautiful: in letting go and finding our satisfaction in God alone, we shall find the joy we desire.